Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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