ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
