There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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