marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
