Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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