Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Ladies don't puke and tell
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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