i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
