last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's never too late to be topless.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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