we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
