Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
