What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
