Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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