He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the day after is always just damage control
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
