My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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