one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize