***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
