I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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