i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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