That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
