the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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