I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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