Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
