so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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