my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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