i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Shame - the story of my life.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
