you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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