how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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