Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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