I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
