So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
