Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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