Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
