I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize