would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize