I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
