Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
