we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
