i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
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Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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