there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
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I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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