Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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