Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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