kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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