I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
