i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
