I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
