i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
