I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
