she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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