You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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