She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So here I am, sexting at work.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
