I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
