I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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