so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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