worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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