i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.