i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.