Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(985): View more from Louisiana

i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww

(1-613): View more from Ontario

no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.

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(805): View more from California

do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(218): View more from Minnesota

Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.

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(317): View more from Indiana

She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while

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(907): View more from Alaska

We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

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(912): View more from Georgia

They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.

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