i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...