Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
