C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
