Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
