the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
