it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
