your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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