Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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