I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
